High school, and life is just a game. That I have learned.
(These are snippets from something that I made last year, modified for this context, it was a recording, but it doesn’t sound good)
I don't really feel anything anymore. I don’t know, maybe I'm just a sociopath. Deadlines, big presentations, or exams don't make me super tense or anxious. I've realized how little all of that should matter.
I've developed a process, like an algorithm, for doing these things. It might not be the most efficient, but it's what I use. Take your run-of-the-mill test, for example. I probably took notes in class, and did the assigned work, so I got the gist of what we needed to know.
The day before or the day of a quiz or test, all I did was try to make connections. I tried make connections that set up opportunities to recall information on the spot, rather than memorizing it as is.
In biology, my friends would freak out before every test like
OMG, you gotta know what this protein does and this one and that one, you know, like holy crap, You know, I gotta memorize this…. But really, you don’t
I tell them to think of it this way, most things in biology sort of fall into “common trends”, especially protein pathways, so you only need to memorize the exception to the pattern.
Of course, it doesn’t always work out. With so many APs, my grades were pretty much always in limbo. Usually I’d have maybe one or two test scores that were less than ideal that pushed my grade into a B or a C. But of course I always got it to work out in the end. I called it “rebuilding”. Got a 23/40 on the chem quiz? Time to rebuild. Got a solid A in econ? Rebuild in AP French instead to get back to an 89. I’ve learned that the only important grade is the one at the end of the quarter (or really the semester), so I’ve learned that's the only thing that I need to worry about.
I took AP chem as a junior, and at that point I had pretty much already learned this lesson. But I remember the anxiety of sophomores in my chem class before every test, or even just the reading quizzes. They’d almost break down into tears as they tried to do and then redo every last example problem before the test while also trying to memorize their notes word for word. But some of them would be doing all this while they had like a 95 in the class. Others would be doing all this to only be almost outright failing.
(These are snippets from something that I made last year, modified for this context, it was a recording, but it doesn’t sound good)
I don't really feel anything anymore. I don’t know, maybe I'm just a sociopath. Deadlines, big presentations, or exams don't make me super tense or anxious. I've realized how little all of that should matter.
I've developed a process, like an algorithm, for doing these things. It might not be the most efficient, but it's what I use. Take your run-of-the-mill test, for example. I probably took notes in class, and did the assigned work, so I got the gist of what we needed to know.
The day before or the day of a quiz or test, all I did was try to make connections. I tried make connections that set up opportunities to recall information on the spot, rather than memorizing it as is.
In biology, my friends would freak out before every test like
OMG, you gotta know what this protein does and this one and that one, you know, like holy crap, You know, I gotta memorize this…. But really, you don’t
I tell them to think of it this way, most things in biology sort of fall into “common trends”, especially protein pathways, so you only need to memorize the exception to the pattern.
Of course, it doesn’t always work out. With so many APs, my grades were pretty much always in limbo. Usually I’d have maybe one or two test scores that were less than ideal that pushed my grade into a B or a C. But of course I always got it to work out in the end. I called it “rebuilding”. Got a 23/40 on the chem quiz? Time to rebuild. Got a solid A in econ? Rebuild in AP French instead to get back to an 89. I’ve learned that the only important grade is the one at the end of the quarter (or really the semester), so I’ve learned that's the only thing that I need to worry about.
I took AP chem as a junior, and at that point I had pretty much already learned this lesson. But I remember the anxiety of sophomores in my chem class before every test, or even just the reading quizzes. They’d almost break down into tears as they tried to do and then redo every last example problem before the test while also trying to memorize their notes word for word. But some of them would be doing all this while they had like a 95 in the class. Others would be doing all this to only be almost outright failing.
For me, test day was usually the first time that I would crack open the textbook to do the suggested problems (solutions guide in hand), at which point I would just work them out in my head. I’m no savant, so I couldnt actually “do” any of the math, so I would sort of “trace out” each problem instead. If there was a repeat problem that just had different numbers, I’d just skip it. If I didn’t know how to actually do it, or I was confused, I would try it out on paper and then memorize the process from the solution manual. That way I was practicing what I didn’t know without overwhelming myself.
But I remember when I used to be like those sophomores too. Funny how the less APs you have the more you care about them. In freshman year, my only APs were a Calc BC and Human Geo. Before class in Human Geo all would gather around "the preacher" who read and took notes on the assigned reading every night. He (there was also a girl who did the same thing for the other side of the room) would summarize (out loud) the chapter before class while we all listened. it was sort of a mutual relationship (albeit a slightly lopsided one), since some of us would interject intermittently to add on any info that we thought Mr. Mullen could trick us on our daily pop quizzes. Eventually, we were so passionate with our little try-hard sweaty congregation that it got to a point where Mr. Mullen stopped letting us in the room until after 7:20, because we were always so loud.But we came back like some kind of academic messiah 3 days later, and the sermons continued in the connector hallway instead.
I’d say I’d also figured out a way to game essays in 11AP (AP Lang). Writing essays was a challenge for me because “there isn't a proper way to write an essay”. So of course, Mr. Steltenkamp would always rant about how we shouldn’t stick to the traditional “ 5 body paragraph intro, 3 body conclusion” formula . However, he subtly hinted at a format he enjoyed reading called “snaking through the prompt”. I tried applying that format and pretty much noticed an instant score improvement. It conditioned me to basically just switch formulas (rather than trying to write a “non-formulaic essay”), since I started to associate using it to being rewarded like a Pavlov dog. Another backwards thing that I learned from that class was to use primarily outside events in my synthesis essays, since in my highest scoring essay all year (and only one of two essays that scored above a 90) I pretty much only had like one paragraph that actually cited any of the documents. In argumentative essays, I would make things up instead of relying on hypothetical arguments, which of course works in English class, not so much in the real world.
The SAT was one of the most “successful” games I played. I had a different meta for each section. In math, geometry was a weak spot for me, so I focused on remembering those concepts. I identified the types of questions on the SAT and used similar formats or shortcuts that worked before, like just plugging stuff into my calculator or using similar triangles instead of trig.
Writing, on the other hand, was the section where I underperformed relative to my other scores. It’s also the most formulaic, so I could have probably gotten a 400 instead of 380 if I tried harder, but I am also lazy. However, I still improved by identifying major question categories and knowing what to pay attention to.
Reading is more of an abstract game, and it basically is just you trying to get into the test writer’s head. It’s like a game of poker, each question has a tell (there’s still also an element of luck when it comes to getting a score anywhere from 370-400). You get better and finding them the more you get accustomed to just doing their previously released tests (seriously, don’t buy a prep book). After a certain point you basically don't even need to read the passage. Sometimes there questions are explicit with where you need to look, other times you’ll find a common trend in the answer choices of a question that seems to be more general.
But now, I’ve sort of started to see life the same way. I started out with my own base stats, and I’ve pretty much used my skill points to get stat to the same level rather than min/maxing.
Everyday I also have a new set of cards laid out in front of me. Making these decisions, playing certain cards isn’t personal, it’s just strategy. Every move I make (should) correspond to something that will put me in a better spot than I was in yesterday.
But of course that also gets tiring. Sometimes (a lot of times) I blunder: get a negative debuff, lose all the progress I made in the last week, or forget to hit save too late at night and end up spawning the next day with all my stats cut in half. Life’s a lot more fun when you focus more on the side quests anyway, no point in trying to speed-run it.
You could say I’m disillusioned, but I don’t like how disillusioned people act. They all act like assholes, which I do to an extent, but my motto has always been that being a cynical asshole doesn't stop me from being a decent person.
I’ve learned that it's fine to be sarcastic to an extent, but that doesn’t mean you should constantly make everyone the butt of the joke or that you should make everyone just constantly feel bad. I think it’s fun to act like a side character you know, just being there for comedic relief. And that’s what I’m here for. That's what I am.
But I remember when I used to be like those sophomores too. Funny how the less APs you have the more you care about them. In freshman year, my only APs were a Calc BC and Human Geo. Before class in Human Geo all would gather around "the preacher" who read and took notes on the assigned reading every night. He (there was also a girl who did the same thing for the other side of the room) would summarize (out loud) the chapter before class while we all listened. it was sort of a mutual relationship (albeit a slightly lopsided one), since some of us would interject intermittently to add on any info that we thought Mr. Mullen could trick us on our daily pop quizzes. Eventually, we were so passionate with our little try-hard sweaty congregation that it got to a point where Mr. Mullen stopped letting us in the room until after 7:20, because we were always so loud.But we came back like some kind of academic messiah 3 days later, and the sermons continued in the connector hallway instead.
I’d say I’d also figured out a way to game essays in 11AP (AP Lang). Writing essays was a challenge for me because “there isn't a proper way to write an essay”. So of course, Mr. Steltenkamp would always rant about how we shouldn’t stick to the traditional “ 5 body paragraph intro, 3 body conclusion” formula . However, he subtly hinted at a format he enjoyed reading called “snaking through the prompt”. I tried applying that format and pretty much noticed an instant score improvement. It conditioned me to basically just switch formulas (rather than trying to write a “non-formulaic essay”), since I started to associate using it to being rewarded like a Pavlov dog. Another backwards thing that I learned from that class was to use primarily outside events in my synthesis essays, since in my highest scoring essay all year (and only one of two essays that scored above a 90) I pretty much only had like one paragraph that actually cited any of the documents. In argumentative essays, I would make things up instead of relying on hypothetical arguments, which of course works in English class, not so much in the real world.
The SAT was one of the most “successful” games I played. I had a different meta for each section. In math, geometry was a weak spot for me, so I focused on remembering those concepts. I identified the types of questions on the SAT and used similar formats or shortcuts that worked before, like just plugging stuff into my calculator or using similar triangles instead of trig.
Writing, on the other hand, was the section where I underperformed relative to my other scores. It’s also the most formulaic, so I could have probably gotten a 400 instead of 380 if I tried harder, but I am also lazy. However, I still improved by identifying major question categories and knowing what to pay attention to.
Reading is more of an abstract game, and it basically is just you trying to get into the test writer’s head. It’s like a game of poker, each question has a tell (there’s still also an element of luck when it comes to getting a score anywhere from 370-400). You get better and finding them the more you get accustomed to just doing their previously released tests (seriously, don’t buy a prep book). After a certain point you basically don't even need to read the passage. Sometimes there questions are explicit with where you need to look, other times you’ll find a common trend in the answer choices of a question that seems to be more general.
But now, I’ve sort of started to see life the same way. I started out with my own base stats, and I’ve pretty much used my skill points to get stat to the same level rather than min/maxing.
Everyday I also have a new set of cards laid out in front of me. Making these decisions, playing certain cards isn’t personal, it’s just strategy. Every move I make (should) correspond to something that will put me in a better spot than I was in yesterday.
But of course that also gets tiring. Sometimes (a lot of times) I blunder: get a negative debuff, lose all the progress I made in the last week, or forget to hit save too late at night and end up spawning the next day with all my stats cut in half. Life’s a lot more fun when you focus more on the side quests anyway, no point in trying to speed-run it.
You could say I’m disillusioned, but I don’t like how disillusioned people act. They all act like assholes, which I do to an extent, but my motto has always been that being a cynical asshole doesn't stop me from being a decent person.
I’ve learned that it's fine to be sarcastic to an extent, but that doesn’t mean you should constantly make everyone the butt of the joke or that you should make everyone just constantly feel bad. I think it’s fun to act like a side character you know, just being there for comedic relief. And that’s what I’m here for. That's what I am.
Comments
Post a Comment